Monday, November 8, 2010

What do you think?

A couple of days ago I stumbled upon some questions that Erin from Treasures Found asked and that I really want to answer.  They were in a post about perception along with some great descriptions and  insight about reality.

Is there something that you are struggling to see for real in your life?

I used to think I was a perfect person and needed no insight. I though I saw everything clearly. As I started the journey of meeting myself, I have found out how imperfect I am and how imperfect my perceptions are. So I never know if what I see is real, only writing, sharing and meditating about it helps me clear my mind and feelings.

What veil of misunderstanding is keeping you from seeing with clarity?

The ones that get in the way are my character defects or traits. My ego, my pride, my etc. They do bring positivity to many aspects of my life, but they also get in the way of a clear view, like a glass that is not fully clean. This is why I write daily. To be able to clean that glass and be able to perceive life in more calm terms.

If you were to break the surface of your life, and dig down deep, what might you find?

I have done this and found many fears.  I have found the real me and I like this imperfect person better than the perfect person that though to know all.  That would judge and be sure about people's intentions, thought and actions.  I like this imprefect person better because I no longer feel persecuted by the world.  I feel I am a person that tries to give her best wherever I go.  I love trying to understand others actions better than what I used to feel (entitled and sure they were doing something to me).  I love having a smaller ego and seeing it grow sometimes to be taken down again by my personal work.

Have you ever had a lack of understanding with someone because your perception was clouded?

Totally.  I wrote about this above.  I used to think I knew why people were doing the things they were doing.   I used to come as a strong personality that would just set things right!  Today, whenever there is a situation.  I first try to pray and ask God to show me the way.  I write, I see my defects, I clean my glass.  I share with another person to keep things true and boost honesty.  I meditate and and try to do nothing until I feel the answer clear in my heart.   And I forgive myself whenever I skip all these steps.

What is holding you back from a deeper awareness?
Fear is always the biggest challenge to overcome in this process.  I used to think that I feared nothing.  Now I know better.  I fear many things and coming face to face with this fear, seeing that it is based on a trust of my limited self and not the trust in God, the universe, all the good that is in life and that connects us all helps the process of letting go of it until it is no longer an obstacle.  But these things do not come in my time.  They come when they are supposed to come.  I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason.  And usually the best reason being learning to become a better person.

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