Friday, December 10, 2010

Saying NO

It is so hard to say no when asked for help. I have been doing a lot of service for a nonprofit organization, but I cannot commit to anymore and even have to let go of some that I already have. I know that when the baby comes I will have to be dedicated to her, and it is also unfair to commit to something just because I do not want to say no.

How do I finally manage to say no? Well.... The first thing is not to answer immediately. I can always say, let me think about it. That helps a lot. Then, I start by acknowledging my first reaction (I always feel like Great! this is something I want to do or, Yikes! Why me?). One way or the other I just lay back a little, breathe deeply, close my eyes and envision myself with this new commitment. I sometimes have to resort to seeking help from others on how to manage this new chore or on how to politely and gracefully decline. Honesty is the key, though.

So I have said no to something that is quite difficult for me to let go of. First because I know I can be of help to someone that is reaching out, to someone that is suffering, but I also have to let go of my ego and try to point them to others that might be of the same or even better help than me.

Asking to be led to a decision free of my character traits is always a good start, and does take me to a wise decision for myself and others.

Is it hard for you to say no? Is it also hard to say yes?

3 comments:

  1. Oh my. It is so hard to say no. I have always had that problem and then I overextend. I recall very vividly back about 15 years ago, I was on every committee you can think of and volunteering everywhere. (This was before kids, mind you!) My priest came and asked me to consider being on the board at church, a big commitment. But before he let me say yes he stopped me and said that it was okay to say no. That made me pause. I thought about it and eventually did say no. But it was such a relief. I do practice saying no now, but when I say yes, I do so in a big way and it is something that I really believe in. But sometimes saying no opens other doors and also allows others to step up to the plate and say yes. Great power in that.
    Enjoy the day!
    Erin

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  2. Yes, it is difficult to say no, especially when someone reaches out for help. To say yes is very hard sometimes, too. I'm in a situation where I need help myself and to take a hand that is outstretched is maybe the hardest thing to do.

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  3. You are so right Yeli, and so eloquent in your post. We can't do everything even when we want to. And it's extremely hard to ask for help. Good point about asking to be led to a decision.

    Pam

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